When playing a game, there’s usually one thing and one thing only that is on your mind: winning. Regardless of which team is playing or what is on the line, winning is first and foremost in the minds. This brings us to the age-old and often debated question:  When playing a game, is winning the most important thing?

In youth sports, it’s becoming a common focal point to push the harmful idea that winning is the most important thing. This is instilling a negative idea in the brains of the youth that unless there is a win involved, it is not a positive experience for either the player or the adult. This harsh mentality is creating both for the sport itself and for the idea of a loss.

On the contrary, when winning becomes a regular thing, it’s a confidence booster for the player and develops a stronger love for the game; however, when that win streak ends, losing becomes the new streak, and deep hate for the game is going to begin to develop due to the negative mindset that has been instilled in the youth.

A child does not understand that winning is a good thing until it’s taught. In all fairness, the same can be said with losing. The common thread is that the lessons learned come from the adults and their experiences in their lifetime. If you want to see both the greatness and the ugly side of both sides, just go to a tee ball game. It’s a wonderful and funny moment when a batter drops the bat and runs to third base instead of first base; the child is oblivious to the fact that he or she ran the wrong way, but he or she is thrilled of his or her accomplishment regardless. However, there always seems to be the adult who ignores the innocence of youth and becomes angry or too intense in the otherwise lighthearted moment. It’s a learning experience, not something that should make someone disappointed in his or her four-year-old.

Winning and losing are important lessons to gain experience in the game of life. It’s time to teach love for the game. No adult or teenager thrives off of disappointment, so why would a child? Being disappointed in a game is acknowledging the idea that the child has done something atrocious while simply learning how to play or how to love the game. Winning is a positive thing, so be positive about winning, but losing can also be positive if it’s acknowledged and taught correctly.

Acting disappointed or upset when the result is anything but a win is going to create barriers for both the game and everyone involved. So, the most important question is the following: What can you do to help create a positive mentality in the youth about losing? Losing is not the end of the world, so stop teaching children that it is. Let them learn and help them learn. Create a positive understanding of what truly matters: having fun. That in itself is bigger than a win, and it is bigger than a loss.